2009 and After: Theatre Lul [English and Amharic]
Stage Readings -- how often?
Lab Productions Inclusion in LUL season(s) Touring [Readers Theatre with AA U and National Theatre] Awards and rewards [ tuition free class(es) ] Municipal and National recognition [certificates] web-published @ sellassie.info ... Summer 2010 LUL Conference
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* 2007 --> spring fest 2008
[ University of Alaska and Fairbanks residents ]
Rules: * One acts only
Deadlines: Closing date for receipt of submissions is Feb. 1 2007 Awards: A number of winning entries may be selected and each will receive a public rehearsed reading at Theatre UAF, Fairbanks, Alaska, in Spring as part of the THR UAF season. The readings will be directed by student directors. Winners: 1st -- production -- Winter Shorts (Reading, Web) 2nd -- stage Reading by the actors (Web) 3rd -- published on Theatre UAF website (as first and second) Committee: Theatre Faculty, SDA, THR student, English Faculty, Grad Student Any queries in relation to this competition may be addressed to [Anatoly Antohin], Theatre UAF, 907-474-5253 or by e-mail 2006 samples (two my favorites)* my comments: 4.29.06 presentationFall 2006 413 Playscript Analysis ... 2007 -- trail/beta -- google.com/group/playwrighting [ if I get to it ] egroup? groups.yahoo.com/group/dramlit see Theatre UAF archives Student Drama Association (SDA) -- see official site (above)
1. First draft in class (posted and segments read) 2. Revisions 3. Finals ( final cut ) 4. Submitting to SDA ( Spring) 5. Working with readers/actors (if selected) 6. Stage-Readings 7. Awards (if win) -- Theatre Banquet (End of the Semester, see Theatre UAF calendar) FAMOUS FOR FIFTEEN SCHEDULE: February 11th SCRIPTS DUE March 17th SCRIPT SELECTIONS ANNOUNCED April 4th @ 7 PM PERFORMANCE of Famous for Fifteen Scripts: Readers' theatre format with stools and music stands. April 5th @ 7 PM PERFORMANCE of Dale Seed's Script The Day That Cries Forever directed by Maya Salganek. * Famous for Fifteen Scripts: Stage scripts will be submitted to SDA, voted on by SDA, and performed at Famous for Fifteen. Approximately 3 scripts will be selected for readings. Film scripts will be submitted to Maya, voted on by a film selection committee, and performed in conjunction with the Film Club at a separate event ** CASTING for Famous for Fifteen: A company of actors will be assembled (number depending on scripts' needs) by SDA and that ensemble will read all of the scripts selected. Playwrights will direct their own scripts. Each playwright will chose actors from that ensemble for specific roles to read. [ calendar ] ... Submission to other competitions (read students directory)
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LUL Theatre : POB 11411 Addis Ababa Ethiopiawww.uaf.edu/theatreScripTease
Theme: "I and Others"... Call -- Xmas 2009
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I plan to run the same Fest in Africa. Anatoly
[ archive ]
Theatre UAF (Script) Play Fest
2008 -- 4th spring fest 2008
3rd Fest Spring 2007
Maureen. A cute librarian type with impeccable hair and preppy clothes. Likes jazz and has a parakeet.
Matthew -The hipster indie type with tattoos and cigarettes in his trendy jacket pocket. His jeans are slightly torn, and his hair is a mess under his trucker baseball cap.
There are two tables on a stage, each has a book or two, a lamp and an answering machine and phone. The play takes place on dialogue recorded onto answering machines and the actors leaving each others messages. Lights light each answering machine when it is playing a message.
(Phone rings) Ring Ring Ring Ring
Matt's answering machine:
This is Matthew
I couldn't make it
Leave me a message if you think I can take it
BEEP
Lights up on Maureen. She is mousy and hot. She twirls the phone cord in her fingers. She looks out a window. She has a phone held to her mouth and is slightly surprised when the beep hits her and so stutters on her introduction.
It's me We met at the coffee shop My name is Mo. I thought you seemed cool and I thought I'd be a tool If I didn't call and say so. So many phone numbers get thrown in a basket or lost in the wash it would be tragic to lose yours; you're hot. I was coming from the vet when we met, my poor pet... I needed a brownie I was so upset and depressed: my life and my parakeet's health was a mess. but you cheered me up and over that cup that we shared you seemed like you kinda cared, you have clout so I wanted to .. I never do this... I mean I NEVER do this but I wanted to ask you out. 578, twenty one seventy three if you want to um... go out with me. Mo's answering machine: This is Mo this Sister ain't home, leave me your data at the sound of the tone.
Lights up on Matt. he is a hipster, with a tattoo showing on his arm, piercings, a dorky hat. He hasnt shaved in 4 days and he is adorable.
Matt: Phone tag you're it consider your bait bit. I thought you were hip, and refreshingly bright thanks for the call, wow, I'd love to... tonight? I have a place, if you're sick of the heat we could chill, we could hang, we could chat, we could meet. I'd love to talk, its a bit of a walk, you might call it a hike; but I think you'll like this place i enjoy I've got to cross the bridge and go over the ridge this isn't a ploy, I'm not a flake, So... give me directions I'll be there with haste when you rang I was checking my mail some bills, some magazines, everything stale you left such a long message, I was just down on the street geez, talk about her... how's your parrot, sorry parakeet? any second now this things going to cut me... beeep Matt's answering machine This is matt I'm either at work or I'm on my way there or from there or I'm in the shower, or I'm on the net or I just dont feel like answeing the phone , I bet.
Maureen, looking uncomfortable, holding a hand bag and a latte, wanders around, looking on the street for Matthew, calls his phone with her cell.
Maureen: So you arent here... I'm hoping you're just late. I wonder how long I have to wait, and when this happens, without fail I think its my fault; I forgot some detail like what street on which we were supposed to meet or you stood me up. Its happened before thats why I was so shy and embarrassed before I'm nervous and red in the face and how in the hell do I find your place, so since you aren't there , maybe still at work. I'll just wander these streets like a jerk. No wait... there I see you! Just by the bistro a phone to your ear like your checking your voice mail I'm sneaking up on you, your presence it beckons me so as you listen to this message I left 20 seconds ago. she runs off stage Mo's answering machine : This is Mo this Sister ain't home, leave me your data at the sound of the tone. Matt: Dear God... the sex was amazing your cuvacious curves sent my inner cow grazing. i'm a bull I'm a stud and I'm swelling with pride! you dragged out my pessimist, stabbed him- he died! you took my inner optomist and made him shine was this cup half full this whole fucking time! I want to drink your sweat with some salt and a lime your scent intoxicates me, I'm elated, dizzy when you get this message, run over here and park it I'm like a wolf in a cartoon, howling at the moon and barking you're super like a japanese supermarket wanna take off your parka in the dark and bite you all over like a ravenous shark you've got the kind of hips that make men jump off ships and those thick pouty lips, wanna lick kiss and grip ya! and to top off your ass... you got sass you're the cleverest quipper just thinking about you gets me hot, I just unzipped my zipper I'm jumping and chirping like flipper. When you are amorous, you are innovative like DaVinci and so creative and glamorous, whimsical, a melody by Antonio Carlos Jobim... or who is that? um... it escapes me the jazz cat who composed "Linus and Lucy?" I fall on my floor, when I get home from your place and I shut the door and I think of your face one thought repeats, no other can begin.. when can I... when can I see you again? Matt's answering machine: Hey its matt. thanks for the call. if this is Mo... your too thin! NO THINNER! Come over, I'm making fettucini alfredo for dinner. beep Mo: I love to explore the tattoos on your back. and follow the path they lay out, like a map and sneak past your piercings cute little land mines on my way to the prize each time I undress you is a new archeological find and I wonder what new freckles I'll find on your spine... oh, for me its all about the post-coital heartbeat what makes flirting and courting worth it. I think that's to blame, for getting it all started just a desire to hear someone's heart. Others I admit, have loftier goals like romance and anniversary dances you can take away eyes and dark starry skies take away hips and thighs and the poet's white lies what gets me up in the morning, my upper that's best is the heartbeat that rumbles so deep in your chest. For me its all about the post-coital deep breath the one you cant help but take, the long exhale like you've been running a marathon, or lifting a whale the way you bite your lip and sigh in descending pitch your facial expressions are great, the way you say ouch but what gets me off my couch, gets me back for more is the exhale that follows your petit mort. goodbye, I adore you, you are tres sexy... ps you were thinking of vince guaraldi
Lights out.
Mo listening to a message we cannot hear. She is incredulous. Shocked. Her surprise turns into a vitriolic anger and she stomps back and forth� she grips her phone. Furious at it. She dials, takes a deep breath. And when the answering machine picks up she calmly expresses herself.
Matt�s answering machine: Hi. It�s matt. No clever message, just Matt. How�s that? Mo: Its over, grover. red rover red rover, do NOT come over tonight. I changed my lock. useless is your key. If by chance I see you out on the street, I wont ignore you, you aren't worth the effort. more likely, I'll sneer. and as I am jeering. my friends will be cheering, and I'm sure you'll agree the girl your seducing, will say- "who is that staring? and plotting and peering and glaring at us." "O that is my ex..." and you'll move your feet. This practice I'll repeat until I feel I'm sufficiently over with hating you it may take a week, or a decade or two. I wrote you a note, in the case I'd run into you, I'd hope I'd be carrying a sword, if I do. but I'd have a gift to hand down to you the title it read- "I wish you dead." if it was love we had last week, then alas, love is fucked up. that night you cooked supper? no one told you? I threw up. at the thought of getting in your bed. what was in the body of that note? am I stumping you? A poem reading- ten reasons I am dumping you. "you've taken my test and I'm flunking you there is no chance in hell I'll be humping you. I pray this message sticks, though your skull is thick here's hoping that this will get through, if there's one of us who will not be coming ... its you." That party at my place on January two? don't bother showing up, I uninvite you . This is to spite you, I'm taking delight dear, in telling you frankly, we're through." mo's answering machine: Hello this is Mo. girlfriends, hot guys, please call back and Matt QUIT CALLING ME you SLACKER, you HACK CHEAT! INFIDEL, You steaming stack of scat! You cocksucker, you backstabbing blackguard, you BAT! Matt A city with no one but you would be a dystopia, but worse than two. some nightmare Orwellian shit a cacotopia deep as a pit. I wont claim I wish i could go back in time and say I planned to break your heart before you broke mine its a shock, true, but I'm recuperating well, from your love like a poison inside. Being expensive, bland and a prude You remind me a bit of hospital food. Not to deride you, but I've decided without you, There's a greater chance I'll come through. Not to blight you, or incite you to violence but my dearest, this love that you give, is more fitting a houseplant or a pig. One you wish to die slowly rather than on a whim, its a calculated plot as thin as the skin on your decaf latte foamed milk skim. I can only imagine my chilling demise if I had stayed another week, I'd have certainly died- on necks they'll raise hairs, when a young man declares- "Ms. Crimson, in the bedroom with a pin! You were tamer than tame, a donkey lame, and blander than soft chicken broth. I got more excited when in flew a moth. colder than the ice planet known as HOTH. I had better sex once with an ostrich egg that I dug up one night in the sand it was warmer than you ever were I guess I need more practice... I confused an egg for a cactus. Matt's Voice: This is Matt's, sorry I haven't returned calls I was falling in love, but I'm back from my fall Dad send money, one of my loans is due, I can't tell which, Mom, you were right that girl was a bitch. Mo: The shit you left over here I burned it. Thanks for the message it proves how you've earned it. pause ASSHOLE! sound of phone slamming down Mo's answering machine: You've reached 578, 2173 leave a message... or don't whatever... suites me. Vincent fucking died... there is a long pause... where Matt is deciding what to say. Matt's Voice: I'm sorry about Vincent, maybe we could get a gecko, or a beta... or some other new pet? and our trip to the pet shop, that could be a date and maybe, we dont have to share Vincent's fate. You totally overreacted. I swear its true. there's no one I've been with since I've been with you. Sorry I blew up at you like that, I can't claim PMS. I made a mistake. I have been a mess. I was just so mad that you'd dump me. I was numb. because... I really liked you, I know it sounds dumb I had to prove to myself I could feel. so I shouted and called you names... like a heel. I'm lonley, life without you is boring. I exaggerated, and I'm sorry. Beep Silence on the message machine Beep Mo's Voice: Not my place, or yours let's meet somewhere neutral. like that coffeeshop where I first saw you when our flirting was new and playful how long did that last?. that part flew by too fast Those days we wasted, when we hadn't seen each other naked; and we weren't trying to come up with new ways to be hurtful. sorry I chewed you out, but damn you were mean. If I can forgive you, then there is some hope, at least a small beam.
the end
Copyright 2005
TED Male mid 20s to mid 40s
DR. MURPHY. Male A doctor, Late 20s and up
DEVIL. Male, Any age.
ANGEL. Male, Any age
Scene. A sparsely furnished hospital waiting room.
TED
Is there anything�
MURPHY
I�m sorry�I know, this is difficult�
TED
She was doing so much better� and�
MURPHY
I need to go back in there, but if you have any family in town they should come tonight.
TED
I need a minute before I go in there.
MURPHY
Of course. Mr. Smith, if you�ll allow me many patients find prayer can be helpful in times such as these. I know it�s been a source of comfort for me.
TED
I don�t understand why�
MURPHY
I can�t give you any answers about that. (exits)
TED
I ain�t much for praying but come on man you gotta or�woman� whoever�s out their please, don�t take my little girl from me. It�s been tough raising her on my own, but I�ve done the best I could and she didn�t do anything to deserve this thing� as far as I know she didn�t do anything to deserve this. I don�t think she could have, she didn�t really leave the house more than other kids� I don�t know. I just don�t know, please whatever you want. whatever it takes. if you could? Please. Please. Please ( lengthy pause)
Well I guess if it can�t happen it can�t� (he goes to leave)
the doctor returns
MURPHY
Mr. Smith. I don�t know how to tell you this but� it looks like it�s� gone. We can�t find any sign of the growth. We�ll have to run some tests but this may be what we can honestly call a miracle. Hallelujah. (exits)
TED
I can�t believe this. It�s so-
(a puff of smoke and a devil appears in full red getup with horns and a tail. He is holding a red pitchfork)
DEVIL (devil runs up and hugs Ted)
We did it, we did it, I knew that with you�re belief and my sprit we could do it if we tried.
TED
Um�what.
DEVIL
We did it.
TED
We did it?
DEVIL
Hey, I can�t take all the credit you asked for my help.
TED
Yeah but-
DEVIL
No, buts� we did it.
TED
I get that you think we did something�
DEVIL
Something? We brought you�re daughter back!
TED
But we didn�t� I was praying.
DEVIL
And I answered your prayers.
TED
You�re a devil.
DEVIL
So you think that I�m a devil, just because of the way I look and dress.
TED
But you are aren�t you?
DEVIL
Yes, but as a rule you shouldn�t judge people based on appearances.
TED
Are you saying that you are a� you cured my �
DEVIL
No, I just really wanted to give up my Saturday night to come hug you
TED
Oh.
DEVIL
You have a problem with that.
TED
No� no� oh I get it. So you did cure�?
DEVIL
Do I need to cure your hearing too, yes and she�s fine now.
TED
Well�um thanks.
DEVIL
Please, I�m here for you
TED
Well� I�ll be going in now� I guess.
DEVIL
Wait Ted, there�s the matter of your soul(maniacal laughter)
TED
I didn�t promise you� but� I�
DEVIL
( the devil maniacally laughter dissolves into real laughter)
You should have seen the look on you face I wish I had a camera it was priceless�
TED
So I don�t owe you a soul
DEVIL
What how would that work, contracts, and triplicate, come on buddy.
TED
Well alright then so I guess-
Murphy Enters
MURPHY
The chief of surgery will be up in just a minute. I cannot tell you how happy we all are for you, it just restores your faith� um hello� is this a friend of yours.
TED
Um, this is um�
DEVIL
You may know me by my other name� George Washington.
TED
What!
DEVIL
No, but I love doing that.
TED
Funnier each time.
MURPHY
So you�re�
DEVIL
The devil yeah that�s me. Well a devil really.
MURPHY
You escaped from a psyche ward.
DEVIL
Yo. Dr. dumbass. I got a tail, you know anyone with a tail and horns?
MURPHY
Can I examine it?
DEVIL
Not on a first date.
MURPHY
I�m a doctor.
DEVIL
Does anyone on this planet have a sense of humor anymore. Take a look.
MURPHY (doctor examines DEVIL)
Alright these horns are um� and this tail�
DEVIL
Don�t stop.
MURPHY
Devil�horns� tail� alright�I know what I must do. Begone evil demon!
DEVIL
You know it�s sad that Hollywood has coarsened culture to the extent where people think that works.
TED
I don�t believe this.
MURPHY
What is he doing here?
DEVIL
Doctor, I think I know why you�re upset. I�m not trying to put you out of a job. Think of us as a healing team. Now let�s find a nurse to take a photo of us!
MURPHY
You healed his daughter?
DEVIL
We healed his daughter, now where�s your boss? I can�t wait to tell him what a great job you did. I wouldn�t have had anything to work with if it wasn�t for you.
MURPHY
I�m sorry your daughter is the spawn of Satan.
TED
Excuse Me?
DEVIL
Whoa, I met that dude today, do I need to call my attorney. I don�t need a another paternity suit cramping my style.
MURPHY
The demon has made its move and now the spawn must be destroyed.
TED (Ted blocks door)
Whoa, what?
MURPHY
I�m sorry we can�t allow her to live.
TED
Why the hell not?
MURPHY
The devil healed her.
DEVIL
It was a team effort, come on here guys.
MURPHY (raising his pen)
I am the sword of the righteous and I will smite those wh-
DEVIL
Blah blah blah (to Ted) I�ve seen this before. I show up, they start talking about the sword of righteousness.
MURPHY
God give me strength and let me pass through these heathens.
TED
What the hell is that, a pen knife?
MURPHY
I can�t� get the�cap off� oh there�s a scapel in the other room.
Second puff of smoke an angel appears with a weird machine like contraption strapped to his back and a long flowing fake white beard.
DEVIL
Great the fun police.
ANGEL
Hmp ph hmpgh hmph (muffled)
TED
What now?
Angel taking beard off.
Sorry, damm beard. What�s the problem here.
TED
He�s trying to kill my daughter.
ANGEL (to the devil)
How dare you!
TED
Not him.
ANGEL
Isn�t that a doctor.
DEVIL
When will you ever learn profiling is wrong
ANGEL
That�s not�I�your holding a pitch fork� I don�t have time for this now. Doc why are you trying to kill the kid?
MURPHY
God told me to.
ANGEL
No he didn�t.
MURPHY
Yes he did.
ANGEL
No he didn�t.
MURPHY
Yes he did.
ANGEL
Yes h-� urgh. Did I jump into hell acciedently cause I�m pretty sure that�s what they do down their.
DEVIL
No it�s a big party.
ANGEL
We party too.
DEVIL
I bet Job is real barrel of laughs when he starts telling his stories.
ANGEL
We were having a costume party when I got called out of it for this.
TED
Hey, sorry to bother. But crazy doctor doom still threating my daughter, which by the way seemed to come on pretty quick.
DEVIL
Seemed a bit sudden to me to.(giggles)
ANGEL
(to Devil) You shut up. Now Ted their is a very long technical explanation for Dr Murphy�s condition.
MURPHY
I�m in the room. I�m sane. This child needs to be-
ANGEL
Long story short, uh�demon shock. I �ve seen it before, we can get through this. Now doctor, no one told you to kill that girl.
MURPHY
But she�s been touched by the devil.
ANGEL(to devil)
You did what!
DEVIL
He�s being metaphorical and you�re being judgmental, just because I look different-
TED
Why is your pitchforks glistening?
DEVIL
Er� damm fluorescent lights.
ANGEL
I so don�t need this, just stop with the trying to kill. The whole doctor thing, trying to save lives, that�s fine, good, opposite of killing, good.
MURPHY
But god told me just a few minutes ago-
ANGEL
Do you see the wings� do I got to get the metatron down here so you can have it from the horse�s mouth�so to speak.
MURPHY
So god wasn�t really telling me to kill the girl because of her link with evil.
ANGEL
She�s not evil
MURPHY
But-
ANGEL
There is no evil-
DEVIL
Amen.
ANGEL
In her living, is how I was going to finish that sentence
MURPHY
How can I know when god is talking?
TED
Um kinda, curious about that one myself.
ANGEL
Well�you have to listen carefully and�
MURPHY
I did he told me destroy the evil.
ANGEL
You�re killing me, here look at the wings and trust me.
DEVIL
Look at the wings, judge me by looks.
MURPHY
How do I know you�re not the devil trying to trick me.
DEVIL
Don�t go blaming your crappy ideas on me.
TED
I now, really, understand what surreal is.
ANGEL
God doesn�t want you judge people based on appearances and most importantly god doesn�t want you to kill children
DEVIL
The afterlife as an after school special ladies and gentlemen. What about abr-
ANGEL
I mean he might ask but that�a very unique instance� and he doesn�t do that anymore.
MURPHY
Hold on let me write this down. What about pulling the plug or...
ANGEL
Didn�t say that, not making any proclamations, like I said, got called in here still wearing my costume, I�m just trying to fix the problem somebody here caused, I�m looking in your direction Dr. Pitchfork.
MURPHY
So her evil must be suffered because-
ANGEL
She�s not evil alright. You ever done a transplant? Sometimes good things come from bad. We can�t rewind time.
TED
You can�t rewind time?
DEVIL
I can.
ANGEL
We could if we wanted to. But nobody does it so, stop asking, we play the hand we�re dealt and go from there.
MURPHY
I�ve seen the light
DEVIL(coughing)
Gimme a break
ANGEL
Is everyone happy now?
MURPHY
I�ll go check on the patient.
TED
Is he?
ANGEL
He�s fine.
(Murphy Exits)
DEVIL
Well, my work is done here. Or is it?
(pause)
ANGEL and TED ( in unison)
Is it?
DEVIL
It�s a rich tapestry� yeah, I�m done, oh, and you�re welcome! Nice costume, I just got it. Cute (exits)
ANGEL
Go to your daughter Ted, you won�t be seeing me for a good long while.
TED
That�s it you just do a clumsly debate and that doctor stops being crazy and this is not making�
ANGEL
On the plus side your daughter�s fine.
TED
Thank you so much for keeping your crazy ass follower from thinking he was listening to you� I guess.
ANGEL
That�s ok Ted. I wear a halo and this day was weird even for me. But its days like this that we wear the wings.
TED
Well thanks again, I don't know if this is a regular position or not, but thank you for coming.
ANGEL
Thanks normally, I spend most of my time rigging the outcome of sporting events based on which teams prays more with the amount of gold or diamond encrusted cross�s they own, taken into account.
TED
Oh, well that�s�
ANGEL (laughing)
You should have seen the look on your face, no I fight demons.
TED
That just keeps getting funnier� Thank you again� One thing before you go.
ANGEL
I can only do ballpark on when you're going to die.
TED
No, no. What is that supposed to be on your back? I get you're an angel in costume but� is that a fan on you back, are you fan-man or man-fan or angel-machine?
ANGEL
I'm deus ex machine.
TED
Oh that's...
ANGEL
Yeah it's highbrow, no one else got it' go be with your daughter.
(TED and ANGEL exit)
THE END
[ not proofread ]